it seems like my 'single' status has got some people worried. i am ok with it but it is a big surprised when you learned that you have these small groups of people who are not satisfied with you being unattached to anyone.

some say i am choosy when it comes to choosing a boyfriend.
some say i am so obnoxious that not even a single guy would come close to me.
and some even say i have this 'big' attitude that draws people (guys) away from me.

truth is, i don't care at all. i have been in a relationship ( a very long one) once. i have wasted 5 years of my life, my money and my time for something useless. i have had my heart broken only once and by only 1 guy. i have been stupid for a guy once. WHY SHOULD I DO IT AGAIN?

it is not that i don't want to be in a relationship. it is fun to have someone who you can text,call or go out with. i admit...it is one of the most incredible feeling to have some guy look at you and see u as the most beautiful girl in the world. it is AMAZING.

and it is not that i don't have any guys hitting on me. there are a few. not many but a few. but i politely decline when i feel like they are about to go up a phase. why?

i have seen many cases, i have read many true stories and blog rantings about love and relationship. not to mention hundreds of FB status about love. i see couples who are so madly in love (usually for the 1st 6 months) expressing their love on FB and blogs only to hate each other later. and yes, all those relationship status : married/engaged to boyfriend. are you that desperate?

you see, when you are in a relationship which u urself are unsure whether it will work or not, u are actually putting yourself in a position where you can get hurt anytime. yes, you want the relationship to work. yes, you are trying your best and changing every single thing you can about yourself for the relationship. but what is the point when you are not even sure of your future? then you found yourself screaming at each other, and not tolerating with each other, saying bad things about each other....you found yourself trying to control each other when you clearly don't want to be controlled.

i have been tru it once. i don't want to have to go tru it again. i don't want to hurt myself and suffer. yes, for me being in love with no clear future is a suffer. when i want to be in a relationship, it is because we are on our way to 'the big thing' (marriage).i don't have time to be a couple, to be just boyfriend/girlfriend. it is fair if i stay friends with the guys but keep it close to those i like. work it from there and see whether we are meant to be with each other or not. because once you say you are in a relationship with someone, you are actually giving a stranger the chance/power to control you. i don't need a stranger to control me.

i don't go and brag to everyone everytime a guy hit on me. i only share it with my close friends. do i really need to tell the whole world that i have a guy trying to impress me? i don't think so. it is a shame to do so because if it does not work out between us.....it would just make things ugly.

i have a guy asked me once
" what if there is someone out there who like you a lot and wants to be with you?"
i told him 
" if he likes me a lot, he would have go straight to my parents and ask for their permission to be friends with me. that is the kind of guy i am looking for. not a boy who wants to play around but a guy who is brave enough to ask for me from my parents"

pardon me but i think only stupid people are willing to have their heart broken over and over again. they just don't get the lesson.

so pls don't bother if i stay single. i choose to be single. i choose not get hurt. and you can to think about yourself, your relationship, your life. and yes i admit i can be obnoxious sometimes but that is just me. i don't change myself just to have someone like me. in fact, i am pretty much myself around guys i like (after the 2nd meeting that is).